Expectations
Acceptance
Change
Temporary

Everything is temporary
Everything is change

I suppose it must be
A product of my
Early misadventure
Called my childhood
That makes me long
For something special
Long to be something special
To someone
Maybe to everyone

I think if I grant and acknowledge
The specialness in others
They will do the same for me
It sounds kind
It sounds compassionate
And it would be
If it were done without attachment

The truth is we are all the same
And we are all special
Stars, seeding an enormous existence
That our logical
And even irrational minds
Cannot begin to fathom

I want to see everyone as stars
Even those who dislike me
Or not even dislike, really
Envy that eats away at them
Until they have no choice really
But to take away my special
And make it theirs

I know it’s not rational
No one can take your special
A star can’t not be a star

I want to forgive them
Because I know it must hurt
That need to take must hurt
But I want my special back, too
Which makes me feel
Childish, petulant
Definitely not special
Or kind
Or compassionate

But now as I spin
In this black hole of insecurity
I have to face this question
Delve into a personal truth
Is it special or is it a hungry ego

I lost something special today
And I want it not to matter
It shouldn’t matter

I just want to be stardust

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