I have been dancing with Death again
A slow dance, as I am a watcher
I am a mourner, a singer of the dirge
A broken hearted little bird singing off key

I never know why he picks me
To be his dark shadowy companion
To witness the fragility of the human body
Or the sheer magnitude of the human heart

But my heart breaks watching sons shed tears
For a father that was their tower of strength
Now struggling to eat, to sleep, to be
I am helpless, a mere witness to such love
To such suffering, to such enormity of spirit

I can feel the somber presence of Death
Watching, waiting, lurking in the shadows
And even with his hand resting on my shoulder
I speak of mundane things with a watery smile

I don’t offer hope to the hopeless, even though
Every breath in my body wants to breathe hope
I say I love you every few minutes like a mantra
I wonder if it is annoying to be given words of love

Can repetition destroy the love you are offering
I can’t seem to stop myself so the words continue
I want to lift him up, cradle his sick body against
My warm, alive breast until he is strong again

I want to kiss his brow furrowed with worry
Until it is smooth again, hear his easy laugh again
But Death is asking for another dance, a twirl or two
I’m not ready for another dance, another dirge

I whisper I love you, like a mantra, 
Like the breath of life for the dying
Or perhaps it is my gift of Spirit
Or perhaps it is all I have left to give
Or maybe it is all he is able to receive

I have been dancing with Death again.
Advertisements